Category Archives: Mom Life

Mom of a thumb sucker: My son’s journey to breaking his habit of thumb sucking

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When I was pregnant with my first, I remember the second ultrasound very clearly, as there he was within my womb sucking that barely formed thumb. Well out he came, found his thumb pretty quickly and seven years later we were faced with a habit that has been hard to break.

Yay, he found his thumb! Geez this is going to be a tough habit to break!

When he was a baby, he had absolutely no interest in a pacifier, neither of my boys did and my youngest is also going 2 years strong with his beloved thumb. I’ll be honest, so many fellow mom friends used to be so worried about their kids finding their thumbs, but I on the other hand almost wanted them to find it. I wasn’t thinking 4, 5, 6 or 7 years out. I was thinking about one thing and one thing only, SLEEP. I wanted these boys to sleep through the night and them learning how to self soothe early on, well it was a life savior. No going in in the middle of the night and popping that paci back in. Once they found their thumbs they became the most amazing sleepers at night, even more so with my oldest. He was the happiest baby ever, really, he never cried, and he was amazing at self-soothing when he was little. And a little baby sucking on their thumb in my opinion is so much cuter than a pacifier. Fast forward several years later and it becomes not so cute, not something that you can just throw in the trash and something that seems near impossible to break the habit of.

Letting your kids lead the way

I have always been a firm believer, that my son would quit when he was ready. I myself sucked my finger well into elementary school and I remember making the decision one day that I was ready and once I set my mind to it that was it. My ex used to get so mad at my son, threaten him with time outs if he didn’t take his thumb out. I used to get so angry at him. He was 3 or 4 and he was not emotionally ready, nor capable of figuring out how to do that on his own. For the past year and a half, I along with the dentist have given him gentle encouragement about trying to stop the habit. I’ve had many talks with him about it, asking him if its something he wants to stop doing but just can’t, or if he still wants to do it. I’ve told him for quite some time that I’m here to help him when he’s ready. That ultimately, he has to be the one to decide its time, but when he does if he decides he wants some help with it, I’m here for him.

I was shocked when out of the blue last weekend he came up to me and said mom, “I want to stop sucking my thumb, can you help me?” I told him that there were a couple of different aids out there to help him but that I wouldn’t invest in one unless he was actually willing to use it. I think by putting it in his hands, letting him know this was his decision to make, made all the difference. This wasn’t something I was forcing him to do, this was his journey to make, and he knew I loved him and was here to help him in any way he needed. He didn’t have the pressure on him of mommy being disappointed or angry with him. I reminded him that he can do anything he sets his mind to and if he’s deciding now is the time to quit, I have no doubt that he can do it and I believe in him. I showed him two options I found on Amazon. One was like nail polish and makes your thumb taste horrible, and the other was a contraption that goes over your thumb making it impossible to put in your mouth. He asked me to purchase the yucky nail polish. For the next two days he kept asking me when it was going to arrive.

Thumb sucking solution

Sunday morning, a little package arrived. It just happened to be the day before Halloween and a day we had two Halloween festivities to go to. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to put it on and he said as long as it was invisible that yes, he wanted to do it. Well, I painted a coat on his thumb nail, and we hopped into the car to our first festivity. The car and the couch are always the places he tends to suck his thumb. We hadn’t even made it out of the driveway when he was gagging and started crying. It hadn’t even been 10 minutes and his little brain forced by habit had put his thumb in his mouth. This stuff is gross, I felt so bad for him. I asked him if he wanted me to take it off and he said no, just begged me to go get him some seltzer to take the taste away. The rest of the day he didn’t once go to suck his thumb. It wasn’t until the middle of the night when we had another incident. He woke up crying and gagging and completely upset. In his sleep he had put his thumb in his mouth. My heart hurt for him and yet was so proud of my baby doing such big boy things.

It took two days for the nail polish to wash off completely in the tub and when I asked him if he wanted me to reapply it, he said, “Nope, I think I have this. My brain doesn’t need it anymore.” I can’t believe it, but it’s been 5 days without him sucking his thumb. I keep catching myself checking on him when he’s watching TV or looking back at him in the car. I keep telling him how proud of him I am and that most of all he should be so proud of himself.

So, if you’re a fellow mom to a thumb sucker like me and your little one is ready to take the big step, I highly recommend this stuff! Mavala nail polish treatment

Re-entering the work world after being stay-at-home mom for 7 years

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Whoa, it’s been a crazy overwhelming couple of weeks, and I’ve struggled to find a moment to breathe let alone write. There has been so much change, so many emotions and stress. Every new season in life comes with both ups and downs, right?

A new season in life

I’ve known the day of me returning to work was around the corner, but it’s been a huge struggle to get all of the pieces needed to make that happen come together. If you’ve been following my story, you will know that when I left my abusive marriage last April, my ex who had been controlling me financially cut me off completely and I’ve been left without a bank account, a car and starting completely over with my 2 boys. It’s been almost 8 months without any child support with not much change in hope legally (I’ll save that for another post). Without money saved for childcare for my youngest and a car, it’s been very overwhelming trying to figure out a new career after staying home for so long.

An opportunity came up a couple weeks ago for a 12-week interim second grade teaching position and with good pay and school hours, I knew I had to at least apply for the job. I taught for 6 years in Florida, but that was 11 years ago, before kids, so the thought of returning to the classroom came with many mixed emotions. I liked teaching at a time, but I always thought when I was teaching that it would be a struggle to give my all, all day long to other people’s kids and then come home and still have enough patience leftover to be fully present for my own. Since making the big move and thinking about what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, I’ve thought about teaching a lot. As a single mom I want to be with my boys as much as possible. The hours of teaching would be ideal, to be home after school, to be off when my son is on vacation. However, with a single income and starting from scratch, the pay is not so ideal. It saddens me how underpaid our teachers here are. I had looked into being a TA a few months ago and you could make more money working at Starbucks then being a teacher’s assistance. I was running my thoughts by a dear friend, and I mentioned that I felt that maybe a 12-week teaching position would allow me time to figure out if teaching is where my heart is at. She told me that she thought that was amazing mindset to have with taking the job. Well, I interviewed on a Thursday and was offered the job on the spot and started teaching the following Tuesday and it’s been a whirlwind ever since.

Sadness of dropping my youngest off at daycare for the first time

I really struggled with the thought of leaving my newly 2-year-old, like really struggled. I don’t know why this is so hard for me. So many moms go back to work almost 2 years earlier then I am. But everyone’s journey is so different, everyone’s journey through motherhood is their own. I have a newfound respect for all those working moms out there, as the new juggle I’ve been challenged with has been very overwhelming. I always imagined that I would be with my boys until they were in school. I truly love being a stay-at-home mom and I feel like I’m good at it. Growing up, I never felt like I was truly great at something. I did great in school, but I had to work my butt off. I was an athlete, but never a star, and I just never found like I found my niche in life, until I became a mom. Being a mom has brought me so much sense of self-worth and as challenging as it is, I just love raising my boys. I feel like they are becoming pretty amazing humans and I’d like to think I have something to do with that. I had so much one on one time with my oldest before my youngest was born. And although in a perfect world I would have had them much closer together in age, I found happiness that now that my oldest was in school that I was also going to get that one-on-one time with my youngest. I didn’t think I would be going back to work so soon, and it’s been hard to process the emotions of feeling like I’m going to miss out on so much. I’m used to being there for all of it, the good and the bad. When I dropped him off on day one, he went right in happy to play with all the new toys and didn’t even notice that I left. I sat in my car, and I cried. I knew he would be ok; I knew I would be so busy with my 22 second graders to dwell too much, but it was such a huge first for the both of us. I’m incredibly thankful that a girl I grew up withs mom lives a few houses down and has had her own at home daycare since we were kids. I found comfort in dropping him off somewhere I had spent a lot of time at as a kid. I’m also incredibly thankful that my mom who we live with is watching him 3 days of the week, so it’s made this transition a lot easier to ease into. Other than being sick after one day of day care and refusing to nap there, he’s having a wonderful time making new friends and that makes the sting of not being with him hurt a little less.

Back in the classroom after 11 years

I was so nervous coming into a classroom this far into the year, not having any idea of the curriculum, and not teaching in oh so many years. My first day I got to the school, grabbed my badge and was immediately told that I had an hour-long IEP meeting for one of my students. Surprise! Nothing like a curve ball on the first day. The first day was A LOT and I was feeling by the end of day one that maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. I missed my boys. I was exhausted. I got up at 5 and still didn’t seem to have enough time to get all that I needed to do. I didn’t feel like I accomplished anything, and I was feeling pretty down. But I reminded myself to allow myself some grace. This is new, this is so much change, it’s day one. I reminded myself to be patient and that tomorrow would be better. Each day would be a little better and become a little easier…and it did. By day three my teaching days started to come back. I navigated away from the busy work sub plans and decided to actually teach a lesson and I quickly was reminded that I can do this. I was a good teacher once upon a time, I’m good with kids, my boys will be ok, and we can do this. I’m still overwhelmed and I’m now sick with a nasty head cold after only a week and a half of school, but I’m confident that I can do this.

One step closer to independence

When I was offered the job, I knew other than childcare there was still a difficult piece of the puzzle to figure out. I had to turn in my leased vehicle when we left because he stopped paying my bills, so my mom and I have been sharing a car. Worked out fine for a while, but it’s been such a struggle at times and with accepting this job and knowing she would be watching my youngest, we both knew getting me a car was a necessity. I’ve been fighting legally to get access to some of the proceeds of our home that is tied up in a trust fund for a car with little luck so far. When I got this job, I knew that after 12 weeks I would have enough money for a used car, so my mom offered to loan me the money upfront. When I drove off the lot in my new car, I felt like I had taken one more step away from my ex’s grasp. One of my best friends texted me and said, “No one can take this from you. You don’t have to worry about him holding this over you, threatening to stop paying the payment. This is yours and he can’t take it from you.” And she was right. He’s taken so much from me, and my boys and he could not take this. This was mine and I’m doing it all without him. And that brought me so much joy. It’s one step closer to my independence. I’m reminding myself every day that as much as he tried to make me feel as though I needed him, in his words exactly, “you could never survive the real world without me”, I don’t need him. Not only do I not need him, but we are so much happier without him in our lives. I’m regaining my independence and my inner strength little by little each and every day.

A very successful first camping trip with my son

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Since we’ve moved, I’ve really wanted to get my oldest son involved in as many different things as possible to allow him opportunities to make new friends and fall in love with his new home. One thing my brothers did here when we were kids was Cub Scouts, and when my mom suggested it, I immediately knew I had to sign him up. Their mission is to teach boys how to be good humans, kind, helpful, encouraging, and respectful. I had no idea what I was getting into, and little did I know that the first outing of the year was an overnight camping trip.

overnight camping with my son

Oh crap, did you say camping? Our very first overnight Cub Scouts adventure

Okay, so when I found out the first big outing after joining Cup Scouts was an overnight camping trip, I was feeling pretty out of my comfort zone and several things crossed my mind.

First, I knew my son would have the time of his life. This was totally his kind of thing. Some of the activities they mentioned included BB guns, archery, chopping wood etc. and my son lives to be exploring the outdoors. I knew this was something he needed to do.

Secondly, I’ve never camped other than on a boat. My family growing up was not a “camping” family. My dad was adventurous, loved the outdoors, and we took many vacations to the mountains to ski, hike and bike, but when it came to sleeping, my parents enjoyed the simple pleasures of a warm room, bed and bathroom. This was way out of my comfort zone, especially seeing it was in the middle of October in New England.

Third, this was the kind of thing I really wish I had a supportive husband and involved father of my children for. I anticipated being the only mom without a dad there and that made my heart slump a bit. My ex loved to camp, but even if he was still a part of our lives, he would never go with a group. He was anti-social and avoided all kid/parent activities and it always bothered me so much. I always thought if he had more “good dad friends” in his life he would have found so much more joy in life and appreciated having a family and being a dad.

Fourthly, this is the kind of thing my ex would always tell me I couldn’t do. On more than one occasion he mentioned wanting to take my son camping, but did not want me to go, because in his exact words, “You wouldn’t survive a night of camping Ashleigh. You’re not meant to camp, and I have no desire to go camping with you.” THIS: This always made me so angry. Who is someone else to tell someone what they’re capable of in life, what they can and can’t handle. Your partner is supposed to be your cheerleader, your teammate, and you’re telling me I can’t survive a night in the woods?! I always found this rather funny seeing that in comparison to most of my girlfriends, I am extremely low maintenance. I don’t wear makeup on a daily basis, I don’t have a lot of fancy accessories. Do I prefer a bathroom? Yes, but I’m one tough cookie and I can do anything I set my mind to. It was when I thought of all this, when I realized I had to do this with my son. I didn’t need a man to help me set up my tent, I could do this. I could do all the things with my boys, not just the ones that I was more comfortable with.

Lastly, my son and I needed this one-on-one time so badly. We went through all the hell my ex caused us together, it’s been a lot to overcome, and we still have a way to go. He’s had to go through so much change alongside of me and it’s been so hard with my youngest to find time to bond just the two of us.

First time camper: What oh what do I bring and pack?

Once I signed our names up on the signup sheet, I knew we were committed. I had a little over a week to find all the things we needed for an overnight camping trip. Camping gear is not cheap and on a limited budget I really didn’t want to purchase things I wasn’t knowledgeable on, especially not knowing if this would be something I would want to do again. Thankfully, I reached out to one of my brothers to see if he had any gear, he could set up us with and he hooked us up with a tent, and two sleeping bags. It was recommended by the pack to bring a mattress pad for underneath the sleeping bags since the ground would be wet and hard, flash flights, chairs, and some reusable plates.

Our very confusing at first 2-person tent

So, my brother gave us the tent in its bag but didn’t have time to show me how to set this up. We had a week of rain leading up to our trip, so I wasn’t able to bring it out to the back yard to try and set up. TIP: Set the tent up ahead of time. I was getting so anxious not having any clue what was inside that tent bag so the day before I pulled it out inside the house. I took one look at all the parts, and I wanted to quit right then and there. Stress overwhelmed me and I pictured myself on the campsite, with all these dads with their sons knowing what they were doing, and fear started to take over. There weren’t any directions, and I had no clue where to begin. Thankfully my brother was able to find/google a manual (for one very similar) and text it to me and my loving mom who also took one look at it and said oh crap, was willing to help me out. Sometimes it takes having just someone’s there as another eye to figure something out. It was like a puzzle, and it took us a while to figure out where all the clips went, but eventually we figured it out! And when I arrived at the campsite, I looked at my pictures and set this bad boy up in 10 minutes. One of the dads of a mom I’m friends with was looking out for me and came over to ask if I was doing ok, and I was so proud to look at my tent and say, “Yah I think I’ve got this.”

True camping, non-battery/electric Mattress Pad

When someone recommended bringing one, I immediately went to Amazon, looked for a double one with good reviews that would come in a day or two and clicked purchase. It wasn’t until I took it out of its bag that I realized this was a non-pump blow up mattress pad. Once again, no directions and I sat there for several minutes thinking, what? How the heck to I get air in this thing without busting along. Don’t you just love YouTube? The bag that this thing came in is used at the pump. You open it, shake it to get air in it, seal the bag and then pump the air from the bag into the pad. It took about 10 minutes to pump, and I must say, I was pretty amazed by it. It was super comfortable under the sleeping bags, and I really think without this we would have been cold, damp and uncomfortable. You can find it here at Amazon.

Fun hanging tent lights

My mom had a flashlight and a small lantern, but I wanted something else for the tent. I found these LED lights on Amazon, and we loved them. They came in a set, of 4 different colors and had little clips to hang on the hooks inside a tent or, as my son did, clipped them to his shirt and used it as his flashlight. It had three different light modes. Highly recommend these, linked here!

Gear I wish I had brought and plan to bring next time we go camping

All and all, there wasn’t too many must have items that we didn’t bring on our first camping adventure. If we had been going for more than one night, it would have required bringing more things. The pack provided dinner and breakfast so that was huge. I did wish I had some better camping shoes, and some camping cups and plates for things like hot cocoa etc.

A young boy’s dream place: Archery, wood chopping, fire building, bouldering, BB guns and more!

We camped at the New England Base Camp and this place was amazing for teaching kids’ outdoor survival. They had 4 hours to explore all the activities they had to offer; BB gun shooting, archery, bouldering, propelling, learning how to make a fire, chopping and sawing wood, rope climbing, and building forts with logs. My son had a BLAST. They were wonderful about teaching them proper safety with all the activities and I believe it definitely takes a special person to work at a place like these. Little kids with weapons, fire and axes?

I was amazed at how much not only the kids learned but grownups too. I was able to saw a fun piece of a fallen tree off that I plan to turn into some sort of memorable. This may seem like something so insignificant. But when my son started to saw this piece of wood and was having difficulty, I so badly wanted to finish this. It was like another urge of independence came over me. Sawing this wet piece of wood with an old saw became something I just had to do. So, I stood there for 15 minutes, and I sawed away, determined to reclaim my independence in life and I’m so proud of this little piece of wood. I plan to write something special on it and turn it into a Christmas ornament for Brayden.

I learned that for shooting I’m right eye dominate, and I now know how to build a fire in the woods without any matches. My favorite part of all was just seeing all these boys run around in the woods, being little boys, exploring and making new friends. They were all in their element, with sticks, fires, flashlight tag, rock climbing and just running around being who they were meant to be. I had my first walking taco for dinner (surprisingly super tasty), made some wonderful new friends, and learned that I can without a doubt take my boys on a solo camping trip. I’m actually surprised to say that I’m looking forward to doing it again!

My son had the time of his life, made some wonderful new friends, and earned his Bobcat badge, the very first badge of his cub scout journey :-). Looking forward to all the cub scout adventures ahead. I will finally admit that I’m 100% exhausted. The prep, the loading, the dragging all the stuff…I was hoping for more help from my oldest, but he was too excited to run around with all his newfound friends to do too much, and how could I not understand that. So tonight, I’m enjoying the first world comforts of a warm house, a glass of wine, and looking forward to a soft bed to sleep in.

Park Days Now Include My New Baby Innovations Convertible Diaper Bag

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If you’re a mom, you know that anytime you go to the park, or any trip with the kiddos you have to pack all the things; snacks, drinks, diapers, wipes, change of clothes in case they get wet etc. It’s hard to find a bag that is both functional, looks decent and easy to carry. My new favorite bag to pack up all the things we need is the new Baby Innovations Convertible Diaper Bag sent to me courtesy of Artic Zone, and available at WalMart.com. My favorite part of this bag is the insulated snack compartment at the bottom!

Baby Innovations by Artic Zone Dual Compartment Convertible Diaper Bag.

Baby Innovations by Artic Zone Dual Compartment Convertible Diaper Bag

The Baby Innovations Unisex Diaper Bag currently comes in only one color, navy blue. I think they thought this would make for a good unisex color. It has a total of 9 pockets, including a large main compartment with an Ultra Safe wipe-clean-floor made with built-in Microban to help protect against bacterial odors and stains. The main compartment has plenty of room for diapers, wipes, small toys, a change of clothes and included changing pad that is also made with an Ultra Safe wipe clean surface. It also has a zippered front pocket with interior pacifier holder. My boys never took to a pacifier but found their thumbs instead, but it’s a great add on for so many parents. I love that it has been built with different carry options. It can be worn as a backpack, carried as a tote, or strapped on to a stroller with its stroller attachment straps.

Time to pack all the snacks

We typically don’t last at the park more then 10 minutes before my youngest is saying, “snack, snack.” It doesn’t matter how much food he’s eaten beforehand, something about eating at the park is so much more fun. I love that this bag comes with a separate insulated bottom compartment. It has a Therma-Flect radiant barrier interior with Microban to keep all contents fresh. It has plenty of room for seltzers, juice boxes, snacks and sandwiches, plenty of room for all the goodies to keep both parents and kiddos happy! My little guy already loves helping himself :-). We are past the bottle stage, but I like that they have also thought to include a second insulated zipper compartment on the side for a bottle. I’m loving taking this bag on all our adventures and anticipate it getting lots of use to come!

Where to Find It

The Baby Innovations diaper bag is available at walmart.com for $34.98 and can also be purchased at select Walmart stores nationwide.

Meal prep for the busy mom: Stay-at-Home Mom side hustle

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Whoa, life has been BUSY these past couple weeks. With the start of school for my oldest, family visiting, birthday parties and more, it’s been a minute since I’ve found the time to sit down and write about all that’s going on in life. I’m feeling pretty stressed these days, trying to find some balance in my life with all that’s going on. I’m trying to make a new life for my little family, trying to find a job after 8 years at home, and it’s not easy. But, in the midst of all the chaos, I also have a new opportunity that I began this week that I’m pretty excited about! I’m looking forward to sharing this new journey with you as it grows, evolves and becomes whatever it may be ;-). I don’t have a name yet for this new side gig, but I’m thinking something on the line of, “Meal Prepping Momma for all you Busy Mommas.” I’m not so great with names, so by all means, if you have one, help this momma out ;-).

new beginnings

A couple weeks ago a friend I grew up with connected me with one of her mom friends who was looking for some childcare help. If you’ve been following my journey, you probably know that my ex has left me any boys with no financial means to stand on. I’m actively looking for employment opportunities, but with no money at all for childcare, and no car, well it’s been challenging. I’ve been extremely frustrated these past few weeks with the legal process. It’s been almost 6 months and I still have not been granted rights to the proceeds from our home, assets, accounts etc. The legal system is so maddening at times, but I’ll save more on that part of my life for another post.

Embracing new opportunities

Today I want to talk about something exciting, as I haven’t had a lot of that in recent months! As I was chatting with this mom, we began talking about health and wellness and how I love helping other moms get fit and healthy. She told me that having healthy family meals and prioritizing nutrition more for her family is a priority, but she finds herself having little time and motivation to cook. When she asked me if I would be interested in being paid to meal prep for her family one day a week I jumped at the opportunity. Not only do I love helping other families eat clean, but it also has forced me to explore and try out some new recipes for my family as well. It’s a work in progress and we’re still trying to figure out what will work best for both of us, but yesterday was my first day and I feel like it was a success. She sent me an email end of last week with her wish list for this week. I took what she was looking for, researched recipes, came up with a food list and sent it to her. She stopped and got any items that she didn’t have on my list before I got there yesterday.

Clean eating for the whole family

This week she was looking for a healthy breakfast to have on hand for the week, protein balls for the kids, a healthy veggie dip, chili, and a stuffed cabbage recipe. We discussed things like reducing sugar intake and staying away from processed foods. Over the past few years, I’ve worked with a lot of moms and families who find it challenging to find easy healthy meals that everyone in the house will eat. I love a challenge. I love trying to find recipes that will not only be good for you, but also be loved by both grownups and kids. Eating healthy, nutrient dense food doesn’t have to be extremely difficult. It doesn’t take hours in the kitchen each day, but if you put a little work in one day a week it can make a huge difference. Mornings with kids for me are difficult so I personally like to have a couple healthy breakfast items prepped for the week. I also find when my kids eat a nutritious breakfast it really sets their mood and energy for the day, so making sure they start their day off right is a priority for me. After my oldest got on the bus yesterday I headed over to her house and got to work. She has a beautiful kitchen which was fun to play around in. It took me a little while to figure out where everything was etc., so I think next week will go much more smoothly.

I’ll be sharing my recipes that I prep for this family each week under my fitness tab! If you’re looking for some yummy, healthy family recipes be sure to check in there weekly to see my latest finds. I’ll give you my honest feedback, which recipes were a keeper, and also ones that I would adjust and how!

Free events at the town library

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My boys and I recently moved back to the town I grew up in, and it’s been so strange being back in my hometown after 20 years. Man, just saying that out loud makes me feel old. We had quite the group of friends in Florida, for both me and my boys. It’s been challenging at times to find things to keep ourselves busy and we have become frequent visitors to the town’s library. 

It is the cutest little library, with such a tight knit small community feeling to it. Oddly, I don’t remember frequenting the library as much as when I was a kid as I am now. As I was signing my oldest up for the summer reading program, I noticed that the library had all these free events and classes that you could register for. Being on a very strict budget right now, the word FREE struck my mind. One night while enjoying a glass of wine I got clicker happy and signed up for just about every event they had for the summer, lol. We did not end up attending all the events we signed up for, but we did manage to participate in three of them and they were a hit.

Bug Day

First up, Bug Day! Let’s get real. I am not a fan of bugs. I really find it odd that anyone would want to study bugs as their profession. But, as a mom to two little boys, I’ve often been forced to go on bug hunts, and create an overnight habitat for my son’s most recent find. It’s definitely forced me to get out of my comfort zone when it comes to outside creatures. Isn’t it funny how being a mom can do that? It’s amazing how many new things I’ve been forced to try since becoming a mom.

My oldest was right in his element. He had a blast. I was very thankful that my mom decided to tag along, as what I had thought was going to be an entirely outside event, started with a 45 min presentation inside talking about the anatomy of bugs. Totally manageable for my 7-year-old, but my very active 21-month-old…well anyone that has a toddler knows how that ends up. Unfortunately (maybe?), I missed most of the inside presentation as I was chasing my toddler up and down the library stairs as we waited for the group to go outside for the bug hunt. 

Eventually a large group of happy, energetic kids scurried outside with tiny jars in their hands, ready to go hunt for the bugs they had learned about. It brought me so much joy to watch all the kids running around, digging through dirt, looking at the trees, underneath the rocks, working together to find in (their eyes) a bunch of miraculous insects. I was amazed to see how all of them were helping each other out when some kids were getting sad that they hadn’t caught one. Thankfully to all the moms and dads there, the teacher made them free their finds before returning home, so I didn’t end up coming home with 5 new insects. 

Bug day at the library

Pirates lost at sea with Talewise

Next up on the calendar was Pirates Lost at Sea with Talewise and my son and I absolutely loved this one! Out of the three events we attended this was my absolute favorite. I was extremely thankful that my mom agreed to watch my youngest which allowed me to be fully present and enjoy watching this extremely engaging event with the kids. Talewise is an interactive educational S.T.EA.M program for libraries, schools, scouts, camps, etc. It’s a program emphasized on story telling all while teaching kids that science can be fun. A woman from Talewise was there and she told an interactive story about two boys out at sea encountering pirates and throughout the story she incorporated science experiments for the children to participate in. It was nonstop engagement and interaction with the kids, and I found myself smiling and laughing throughout the entire presentation. My son LOVES science and stories, so it was perfect for him. From toilet paper blowing from the waves at sea, to eruptions and more, I can’t say enough positive things about this performance. I would definitely attend another event hosted by them!

Talewise educational program for kids

Summer concert with the Toe Jam Puppet Band

The last event that we attended was a celebration of the completion of the summer reading program. The Toe Jam Puppet Band came to perform, and my son had an amazing time. The Toe Jam Puppet Band is a children’s entertainment group from New Bedford MA. Unfortunately for this one I did not get to participate as much, as my 20-month-old was with me and had an ear infection and I think the loudness of the band was a little too much for his ears. Him and I spent the majority of the time in and out of the room where the band was playing, running up and down the halls, and trying to persuade him back in the room. Normally this would be something he would LOVE, so it totally caught me off guard when he started crying. Although I didn’t get to see the whole performance, every chance I had to sneak back in the room was greeted with dancing, laughing and full-on fun for the kids. My son was smiling, jumping around, and having the time of his life. They ended the show with some hula hooping and I was very impressed at all kids’ hula skills!

Toe Jam Puppet Band

My Toddler’s First Lovey

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It’s been a week guys. Let’s be honest, it’s been 4 and then some months. To say my kids have had to go through some serious changes is an understatement. 

I’m overwhelmed, completely drained, and I’ve been really struggling with short naps and early morning waking’s for my 20 month old. I’m a Babywise mom. I thrive on schedules. It helps keep me sane, something my ex and I always fought about. But don’t we all do better with a routine? I know when I have some sort of consistent routine, my mind feels so much more calm, and I’ve always been a firm believer that kids thrive on that too! My first born was so so easy. Yes he came 6 weeks early and was only 3 lbs, but, he was the HAPPIEST baby, and the easiest baby to sleep train once he weighed enough. I read the Babywise book and thought wow, this book is ingenious. It worked just like it said! I followed the book to a T and within weeks my oldest was sleeping through the night and napping like a champ.

Fast forward 5 and ½ years later to my second born, and well let’s just say I’ve been pondering pretty much every day what I’m doing wrong. Re-adjusting wake windows, getting the room that much darker, turning up the sound machine…it’s a constant guessing game. Don’t get me wrong, my son, after lots of babywise conversations, following all the sleep training Instagram accounts, and lots of hard work, has been “sleeping through the night” since he was probably 6 months old. But those first 5 months …they were rough, and I was doing it all alone. Not only were we having LONG nights but he was a chronic 40 minute napper for about 10 months. 

Finally things seemed to click and I thought I had it figured out, it was such an awesome feeling. Sleep, it’s an amazing thing, right?! We had about 4 months of a blissful 2 hour nap schedule, and sleeping until almost 7am. I felt like a new woman. And then our entire lives were uprooted and his sleep became a puzzle once again. I try to remind myself that he still is a pretty great sleeper. He has independent sleep skills, and he sleeps 10-12 hours at night. But, we’ve been two months into transitioning to 1 nap and have gone from having 2 one hour and a half naps, to 1 at max hour and 15 minute nap, most days it’s much less than that, and that’s a huge chunk of mommy time! Today he was up at 5, and only took a 30 minute nap, and I’m left once again thinking… I must be missing something. 

I love my baby boy. But, right now, going through all the changes, coping with all the emotions, the legal battle, wearing all the hats… I’m finding it extremely hard to find time to breathe and do all the million things that need to be done.

So tonight, I’m trying something new…again. I brought out Monkey George at bedtime. My oldest loved his Monkey George. I asked my youngest if he wanted to take the monkey to bed with him. It was the cutest thing. He looked at his new found friend, gave him the sweetest hug and kiss, looked at his bed and then at me and said, “Monkey bed?” I started laughing, because it was at that moment, I realized that he was thinking the monkey was taking his place in bed and he was getting to stay up. After a quick chuckle, another hug and kiss, I quickly put him in bed with his new friend, and told him, monkey can sleep with you tonight. Cuddle and give him love. I kissed him goodnight and walked away watching him lay in awe of his new bedtime companion laying next to him.

Will this help tonight? Will he sleep past 5? We shall see…but his sweet face laying there with his friend, priceless. 

Survival Tips for Raising Boys

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I grew up with two older brothers so when life blessed me with two boys I thought I knew what I was getting into. Being a single mom to two very active boys is quite the adventure and keeps me on my toes all day long. Looking back there are some things that would have been helpful to have known. So if you are about to be a boy mom, or recently had a boy, here you go! 

  1. Forget about the toys. Seriously. Invest in a nugget, or some soft padded mats. I promise you, it doesn’t matter how many toys you have, all they want to do is climb on things, jump on things, and wrestle. At least this is the case with mine. 
  2. Teach them how to use Lysol wipes in the bathroom, and make sure you stock up on wipes now in case of another pandemic. It doesn’t matter how much practice you give them in potty manners, your bathroom will consistently smell like pee. I think I could give my oldest a toilet the size of a pond and he’d still miss it. 
  3. Watch your head. It is only a matter of time before you get hit in the head by a toy, or a shoe while driving. 
  4. Get outside every day, as much as possible. If it’s raining, send them out in rain boots and let them play in puddles. On days we spend more time outside, mentally we are all in a much better place. 
  5. It’s ok to let them play with nerf guns. We all want to raise sweet loving boys. But, even if you don’t buy them toy guns or swords, they will turn everything they can find into a pretend weapon. It will be ok, boys can be kind and sweet and still have nerf gun fights. 
  6. Fart jokes become the norm, embrace it and have fun with it. Look up the song, “Momma tooted.” And then either thank me or hate me for it 😉
  7. Always have coffee and wine on hand. 
  8. Find yourself some mom friends that also are raising boys. I promise you, it makes all the difference. Nothing gives me more laughs than looking back at some text threads with my fellow boy moms. 
  9. Let them cry, let them have their big feelings. Talk to them. Let them feel safe opening up. Boys need to know that it’s ok for men to feel the big feelings, it doesn’t make them weak. 
  10. There is no such thing as personal space. The bathroom with the door locked is your new place of brief solitude. 

Finally, and this one is the most important one. Boys love their mommies. Hug them a million times a day and more. The days are long and trying, but their hugs, slobbery kisses, and giggles make every single moment worth it. As crazy as they drive you daily, they also have a way of making you feel like the prettiest, most special woman on the planet. I always wanted a little girl. But I have to tell you, now having two fun loving little boys, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

raising boys

The Easiest Backyard Water Slide

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At our old house in Florida we had a pool and AC. And although the summers here are in general way less hot, we’ve had some hot humid days here and I’ve been trying to find creative ways to cool off without spending any money. 

boys playing on water slide

This idea really belongs solely to my 7 year old. He dumped some of the water out of the kiddy pool onto the grass right in front of our Little Tykes slide, wet the slide, and voila! One hour of pure muddy, wet entertainment for both my 20 month old and 7 year old.

Finding safe activities that make them both happy isn’t always easy! 

Doesn’t get much simpler than that! I think we got our Little Tykes slide off Amazon for about $20. Best $20 I’ve ever spent.