A very successful first camping trip with my son

Since we’ve moved, I’ve really wanted to get my oldest son involved in as many different things as possible to allow him opportunities to make new friends and fall in love with his new home. One thing my brothers did here when we were kids was Cub Scouts, and when my mom suggested it, I immediately knew I had to sign him up. Their mission is to teach boys how to be good humans, kind, helpful, encouraging, and respectful. I had no idea what I was getting into, and little did I know that the first outing of the year was an overnight camping trip.

overnight camping with my son

Oh crap, did you say camping? Our very first overnight Cub Scouts adventure

Okay, so when I found out the first big outing after joining Cup Scouts was an overnight camping trip, I was feeling pretty out of my comfort zone and several things crossed my mind.

First, I knew my son would have the time of his life. This was totally his kind of thing. Some of the activities they mentioned included BB guns, archery, chopping wood etc. and my son lives to be exploring the outdoors. I knew this was something he needed to do.

Secondly, I’ve never camped other than on a boat. My family growing up was not a “camping” family. My dad was adventurous, loved the outdoors, and we took many vacations to the mountains to ski, hike and bike, but when it came to sleeping, my parents enjoyed the simple pleasures of a warm room, bed and bathroom. This was way out of my comfort zone, especially seeing it was in the middle of October in New England.

Third, this was the kind of thing I really wish I had a supportive husband and involved father of my children for. I anticipated being the only mom without a dad there and that made my heart slump a bit. My ex loved to camp, but even if he was still a part of our lives, he would never go with a group. He was anti-social and avoided all kid/parent activities and it always bothered me so much. I always thought if he had more “good dad friends” in his life he would have found so much more joy in life and appreciated having a family and being a dad.

Fourthly, this is the kind of thing my ex would always tell me I couldn’t do. On more than one occasion he mentioned wanting to take my son camping, but did not want me to go, because in his exact words, “You wouldn’t survive a night of camping Ashleigh. You’re not meant to camp, and I have no desire to go camping with you.” THIS: This always made me so angry. Who is someone else to tell someone what they’re capable of in life, what they can and can’t handle. Your partner is supposed to be your cheerleader, your teammate, and you’re telling me I can’t survive a night in the woods?! I always found this rather funny seeing that in comparison to most of my girlfriends, I am extremely low maintenance. I don’t wear makeup on a daily basis, I don’t have a lot of fancy accessories. Do I prefer a bathroom? Yes, but I’m one tough cookie and I can do anything I set my mind to. It was when I thought of all this, when I realized I had to do this with my son. I didn’t need a man to help me set up my tent, I could do this. I could do all the things with my boys, not just the ones that I was more comfortable with.

Lastly, my son and I needed this one-on-one time so badly. We went through all the hell my ex caused us together, it’s been a lot to overcome, and we still have a way to go. He’s had to go through so much change alongside of me and it’s been so hard with my youngest to find time to bond just the two of us.

First time camper: What oh what do I bring and pack?

Once I signed our names up on the signup sheet, I knew we were committed. I had a little over a week to find all the things we needed for an overnight camping trip. Camping gear is not cheap and on a limited budget I really didn’t want to purchase things I wasn’t knowledgeable on, especially not knowing if this would be something I would want to do again. Thankfully, I reached out to one of my brothers to see if he had any gear, he could set up us with and he hooked us up with a tent, and two sleeping bags. It was recommended by the pack to bring a mattress pad for underneath the sleeping bags since the ground would be wet and hard, flash flights, chairs, and some reusable plates.

Our very confusing at first 2-person tent

So, my brother gave us the tent in its bag but didn’t have time to show me how to set this up. We had a week of rain leading up to our trip, so I wasn’t able to bring it out to the back yard to try and set up. TIP: Set the tent up ahead of time. I was getting so anxious not having any clue what was inside that tent bag so the day before I pulled it out inside the house. I took one look at all the parts, and I wanted to quit right then and there. Stress overwhelmed me and I pictured myself on the campsite, with all these dads with their sons knowing what they were doing, and fear started to take over. There weren’t any directions, and I had no clue where to begin. Thankfully my brother was able to find/google a manual (for one very similar) and text it to me and my loving mom who also took one look at it and said oh crap, was willing to help me out. Sometimes it takes having just someone’s there as another eye to figure something out. It was like a puzzle, and it took us a while to figure out where all the clips went, but eventually we figured it out! And when I arrived at the campsite, I looked at my pictures and set this bad boy up in 10 minutes. One of the dads of a mom I’m friends with was looking out for me and came over to ask if I was doing ok, and I was so proud to look at my tent and say, “Yah I think I’ve got this.”

True camping, non-battery/electric Mattress Pad

When someone recommended bringing one, I immediately went to Amazon, looked for a double one with good reviews that would come in a day or two and clicked purchase. It wasn’t until I took it out of its bag that I realized this was a non-pump blow up mattress pad. Once again, no directions and I sat there for several minutes thinking, what? How the heck to I get air in this thing without busting along. Don’t you just love YouTube? The bag that this thing came in is used at the pump. You open it, shake it to get air in it, seal the bag and then pump the air from the bag into the pad. It took about 10 minutes to pump, and I must say, I was pretty amazed by it. It was super comfortable under the sleeping bags, and I really think without this we would have been cold, damp and uncomfortable. You can find it here at Amazon.

Fun hanging tent lights

My mom had a flashlight and a small lantern, but I wanted something else for the tent. I found these LED lights on Amazon, and we loved them. They came in a set, of 4 different colors and had little clips to hang on the hooks inside a tent or, as my son did, clipped them to his shirt and used it as his flashlight. It had three different light modes. Highly recommend these, linked here!

Gear I wish I had brought and plan to bring next time we go camping

All and all, there wasn’t too many must have items that we didn’t bring on our first camping adventure. If we had been going for more than one night, it would have required bringing more things. The pack provided dinner and breakfast so that was huge. I did wish I had some better camping shoes, and some camping cups and plates for things like hot cocoa etc.

A young boy’s dream place: Archery, wood chopping, fire building, bouldering, BB guns and more!

We camped at the New England Base Camp and this place was amazing for teaching kids’ outdoor survival. They had 4 hours to explore all the activities they had to offer; BB gun shooting, archery, bouldering, propelling, learning how to make a fire, chopping and sawing wood, rope climbing, and building forts with logs. My son had a BLAST. They were wonderful about teaching them proper safety with all the activities and I believe it definitely takes a special person to work at a place like these. Little kids with weapons, fire and axes?

I was amazed at how much not only the kids learned but grownups too. I was able to saw a fun piece of a fallen tree off that I plan to turn into some sort of memorable. This may seem like something so insignificant. But when my son started to saw this piece of wood and was having difficulty, I so badly wanted to finish this. It was like another urge of independence came over me. Sawing this wet piece of wood with an old saw became something I just had to do. So, I stood there for 15 minutes, and I sawed away, determined to reclaim my independence in life and I’m so proud of this little piece of wood. I plan to write something special on it and turn it into a Christmas ornament for Brayden.

I learned that for shooting I’m right eye dominate, and I now know how to build a fire in the woods without any matches. My favorite part of all was just seeing all these boys run around in the woods, being little boys, exploring and making new friends. They were all in their element, with sticks, fires, flashlight tag, rock climbing and just running around being who they were meant to be. I had my first walking taco for dinner (surprisingly super tasty), made some wonderful new friends, and learned that I can without a doubt take my boys on a solo camping trip. I’m actually surprised to say that I’m looking forward to doing it again!

My son had the time of his life, made some wonderful new friends, and earned his Bobcat badge, the very first badge of his cub scout journey :-). Looking forward to all the cub scout adventures ahead. I will finally admit that I’m 100% exhausted. The prep, the loading, the dragging all the stuff…I was hoping for more help from my oldest, but he was too excited to run around with all his newfound friends to do too much, and how could I not understand that. So tonight, I’m enjoying the first world comforts of a warm house, a glass of wine, and looking forward to a soft bed to sleep in.

Park Days Now Include My New Baby Innovations Convertible Diaper Bag

If you’re a mom, you know that anytime you go to the park, or any trip with the kiddos you have to pack all the things; snacks, drinks, diapers, wipes, change of clothes in case they get wet etc. It’s hard to find a bag that is both functional, looks decent and easy to carry. My new favorite bag to pack up all the things we need is the new Baby Innovations Convertible Diaper Bag sent to me courtesy of Artic Zone, and available at WalMart.com. My favorite part of this bag is the insulated snack compartment at the bottom!

Baby Innovations by Artic Zone Dual Compartment Convertible Diaper Bag.

Baby Innovations by Artic Zone Dual Compartment Convertible Diaper Bag

The Baby Innovations Unisex Diaper Bag currently comes in only one color, navy blue. I think they thought this would make for a good unisex color. It has a total of 9 pockets, including a large main compartment with an Ultra Safe wipe-clean-floor made with built-in Microban to help protect against bacterial odors and stains. The main compartment has plenty of room for diapers, wipes, small toys, a change of clothes and included changing pad that is also made with an Ultra Safe wipe clean surface. It also has a zippered front pocket with interior pacifier holder. My boys never took to a pacifier but found their thumbs instead, but it’s a great add on for so many parents. I love that it has been built with different carry options. It can be worn as a backpack, carried as a tote, or strapped on to a stroller with its stroller attachment straps.

Time to pack all the snacks

We typically don’t last at the park more then 10 minutes before my youngest is saying, “snack, snack.” It doesn’t matter how much food he’s eaten beforehand, something about eating at the park is so much more fun. I love that this bag comes with a separate insulated bottom compartment. It has a Therma-Flect radiant barrier interior with Microban to keep all contents fresh. It has plenty of room for seltzers, juice boxes, snacks and sandwiches, plenty of room for all the goodies to keep both parents and kiddos happy! My little guy already loves helping himself :-). We are past the bottle stage, but I like that they have also thought to include a second insulated zipper compartment on the side for a bottle. I’m loving taking this bag on all our adventures and anticipate it getting lots of use to come!

Where to Find It

The Baby Innovations diaper bag is available at walmart.com for $34.98 and can also be purchased at select Walmart stores nationwide.

The most picturesque views during this year’s leaf peeping

These past few weeks I’ve been able to re-experience something that I haven’t had the opportunity to since college, a true New England fall. I’m lucky enough to have family that resides in the breath-taking, charming town of Stowe VT, and was able to visit during peak foliage this past weekend.

peak foliage in Vermont

Peak foliage; like walking through a painting

I was truly in awe these past few days. My amazing brother and sister-in-law and two beautiful nieces live in Stowe VT, and I always love visiting them. We are incredibly close and always have the most amazing time together. This past weekend we went up to celebrate my niece’s birthday, but it also happened to be during peak foliage season. The second we entered NH the leaves became incredibly vibrant. Besides my very unhappy toddler (he hates car rides) it was the most beautiful car ride I’ve had in a long time. It was incredibly hard not to grab my phone and just video the entire ride. I truly felt like I was driving through a painting. It’s odd because I spent the first 21 years of my life in New England, and I went to college in Vermont which is known for having the most incredibly vibrant colors during foliage. But for some reason I didn’t remember it being this breathtaking, this beautiful. I’m not sure if I was too young to really appreciate it, or if it’s just been that long since I’ve been here to really remember how beautiful it was. Being able to take in all these incredible leaves this weekend left me feeling incredibly blessed to live where I am right now.

A Fall walk in the woods

The weather was a little iffy but on Sunday we were fortunate to get a break in the rain to get out and enjoy a beautiful walk in the woods. The drive to our hiking spot was nothing but pure magical. The trees were overhanging like a bridge on the road and were full of vibrant colors. The lighting and colors outside were serene. We had a lovely walk through the woods encountering gnomes, a sugar shack and beautiful open fields with nothing but mountains and vibrant colors in the background. I haven’t been feeling much like myself these days and something about being in the quiet woods with family, completely memorized by all the pretty colors, brought me such tranquility. I wanted to wrap all the pretty trees up in a bubble and take them home with me. It’s so surreal to think that in just a matter of weeks all these vibrant trees will be leafless and preparing for a long New England winter. Being away for all these years and now experiencing the seasons changing has given me a whole new appreciation for what this place has to offer. Do I miss living in Florida? Yes. But each place has its charm and special beauties to enjoy. I’m trying to focus on all the amazing things my new home has to offer me and my boys.

Road to healing: Finding joy in the small moments

I’ve been feeling in a funk these days, my life feels like it is in such limbo. Nothing is happening on the legal front which is beyond frustrating and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life outside of being a mom is so overwhelming. I’ve been trying to be intentional about finding something that brings me joy and peace each week.

Date night with my boys

In Florida before life went spiraling out of control, I loved taking my boys on lunch dates, either solo or with my amazing mom friends. On the rare occasion I had someone to watch my youngest, taking my oldest out do dinner just the two of us was always such an amazing time. Since being in MA we haven’t done that once. I’ve been trying not to spend any money other than on necessities and things for my boys. But lately, I’ve been feeling so much like I don’t have much of a life here. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve reconnected with so many people I grew up, have my family close by and have so many people in my corner, cheering me on. But I had a life I built for 18 years in Florida, relationships that I invested in. I miss my friends in Florida. Outside of my ex I just miss my normal every day-to-day life that I had with friends and neighbors back home. So, while my mom was out of town this week (her and I usually eat dinner together) I decided to take the boys on a dinner date after my son’s taekwondo. Now to be completely honest I knew this was going to go one of two ways depending on my almost 2-year-old. We would either have a lovely dinner as a family of 3, or I would be drinking my glass of wine in a rush and asking for my meal to go and running out of there as fast as could be. 😉

I don’t know if the universe sensed my need for a peaceful night with my boys, or if my little guys were as excited for this night out as much as I was, but we had the most peaceful dinner out. I was so proud of both my boys. My toddler actually sat in his highchair, had zero meltdowns, and seemed very focused on his big plate of food. And my oldest ate every last bite of his dinner and had amazing conversation with me about his day. It was in this moment that I was reminded, “I can do this. My crew and I got this. As long as we have each other, we’ll be ok.”

Emotional abuse: No longer under his control

I’m starting to realize how freeing it is to be able to do what I want without constantly wondering if it’s going to make my spouse upset. I feel like I’ve been living my life walking on eggshells the past 5 years, constantly questioning my decisions, asking myself if I do this is it going to create a battle at home. I always valued family meals, sitting down with either my spouse at night, or as a family for dinner was always a priority to me. I always made this clear with my ex and there was a time many years ago where he prioritized that too. But when mental illness and alcohol took over, I found myself either eating alone each night, or cooking a nice family dinner for me and my oldest son. It broke my heart daily as my son would always say, “I want Daddy to eat with us.” I would constantly make excuses for him, as I was very careful always as to not speak badly about his dad. But it was so hard. It made me so angry that he was not valuing this time, that he was MIA doing who knows what, yet would constantly complain that he never saw his kids. Yet there were so many times where I wouldn’t plan a meal and would take the boys out to meet with friends and that would be the one night he decided to come home on time without any communication per usual and I would be made to feel so guilty. Or be told, “It must be so nice to have fun with friends.” I tried so hard to communicate, to let him know our plans, to invite him, to make him feel included, but it never mattered, I was always in the wrong. Emotional abuse is so hard and so tricky to navigate. Just because you don’t have bruises on you, it doesn’t mean it’s not real. I actually think it’s this kind of abuse that’s most tricky to heal from. I’m slowly realizing just how much control he had over me and I’m slowly breaking free and finding peace in the fact that I can choose to do what makes us happy and not worry about how it’s going to affect someone else. It’s such a small thing, but it’s also HUGE. It’s no longer all about him. It’s about what makes ME happy, and my boys happy too.

So, this dinner with my boys, it was a moment of clarity for me, and it was just what the three of us needed. It brought me joy, it brought my boys joy, and I need to make things like this happen more often. Trying to let go of those things I can’t control and let these peaceful moments with my crew carry me through.

Finally found an easy, homemade, healthy granola bar that I love

I’ve been searching and trying recipes for a couple months now for a healthy crunchy granola bar recipe that both me and the boys enjoy. I spend so much money at the store on a small box of granola bars and it’s very hard to find ones that aren’t loaded with unhealthy sugars and extra additives. I’ve found a few different store options, but they are expensive and last about a day in my house. I’m always bringing bars with us to the park and like to have them for school snacks too. After trying a few different recipes, I finally found one yesterday from Well Plated that was delicious, easy, healthy, and had that crunch I’d been looking for. They were a hit by all in the house and I anticipate making another batch this week. I’ll probably experiment with adding different seeds and nuts the next round and maybe even some dried fruit.

healthy granola bars

Tips

When I first took these out of the oven, I thought they were going to be a bust. The recipe tells you to cut them immediately out of the oven but leave them on the parchment paper until completely cooled. When I first made my cut, they started to crumble a bit and I thought, “Oh man, this is going to end up just being granola.” But after that I let them be. Once cooled off completely they firmed up and stuck together making them easy to pull apart into individual bars. I recommend using honey for all homemade granola bar recipes. I love to use maple syrup and agave as sweeteners in recipes, but honey is much more binding and helps the granola bars stay together.

Ingredients

  • 2 cups old fashioned oats
  • 3/4 cup chopped nuts (I used peanuts, but next time I think I will try almonds)
  • 1/4 cup sunflower seeds (I think for fall I’m going to try pumpkin seeds this week)
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened coconut flakes (unsweetened is key to keep these healthy!)
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp salt

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 325. Mix together oats, nuts, seeds, and coconut flakes on a rimmed, ungreased pan and bake for about 10 minutes.
  2. Heat honey and peanut butter together in a medium saucepan over medium heat until smoothly combined. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, cinnamon and salt.
  3. Add oat mix to the honey peanut butter mix.
  4. You can add chocolate chips but let the mixture cool first or they will melt.
  5. Turn down oven to 300.
  6. Line a 8 or 9 inch baking dish with parchment paper so that two sides of the paper overhang the ends. You want to be able to lift up the entire sheet once cooked and cooled with the edges.
  7. Scoop the batter into the prepared pan and press down with a spatula.
  8. Bake for 15-20 minutes. 20 minutes will make them crunchier, 15 more chewy. With the bars still on the pan use a knife to cut them into the desired size bars. Leave them alone afterwards until completely cooled. Once cooled lift up the entire thing with the parchment paper and place on a cutting board. Cut them again on your lines and pull them apart.
  9. These will store for up to 1 week at room temperature or 2 weeks in the fridge. They get extra crunchy when you put them in the fridge!